As of October 2011, I have become a housewife. I spent countless hours watching "The Real Housewives of ________" preparing for this moment. I was ready for my lavish vacations, shopping trips, fancy parties, spray tans, skin-tight clothing, weaves, and let's not forget facial injections. However, nobody told me actual housewives do not experience these perks!
Does anyone think housewives really live this way? How delusional do you have to be? I take that back; I was planning on starting my singing career this year. I made pop singers in middle school, so I am right around the same talent level as JLo and Britney Spears and definitely better than Kim and the Duchess. All I need is one single like "Tardy for the Party" to get my name out there and start making some extra money.
As far as plastic surgery goes, I am about two more kids away from the breast lift that I made my husband promise to give me solely for a shallow purpose of not wanting to look all saggy, but I refuse to mess with my face. A couple of years ago, I went on a cruise that departed from Miami. This is the only time in my life, that I am aware of, that I saw a botox face up close. SCARY is what they look like. They really don't move and make people look like claymation figurines up close. Don't try and tell me that they just got a bad job; it won't work. I will never put a needle in my face. Have you seen Vicki? Stop putting needles in your face!
On a serious note; I just cannot get enough of the Real Housewives. I know it is fake and scripted, and I could care less. All of those women provide me with a good laugh and make me appreciate my life even more. I would love to buy designer labels, dress up for something other than a wedding, and take trips around the world paid for by a tv network, but you could not pay me enough money to have a camera follow me around and make me relive every dumb comment I make and have the public tear me to shreds. I will leave it to the pros.
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